Auspice Maria Ep. 7: Continuing Our Conversion

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Welcome back to the Auspice Maria podcast. I'm Bishop James Ruggeri of the Diocese of Portland in Maine. And prior to beginning, I just want to give a shout-out of thanks to my producer, Jake Buttarazzi, and also the Diocesan Communications Office for their help in making this podcast possible. But also for all of you who are listening, thank you for taking the time to listen. 

Today we continue our journey through the mission of the Church, these sort of three pillars that over these weeks I've been trying to..., little by little, starting with particularly the first pillar of proclamation, but the three pillars are basically proclaiming the gospel, bringing people to Christ, and building the kingdom of God. And for these past six podcasts, I'm trying to focus sort of on this theme of proclaiming the gospel. 

And today, I'd like to continue about the topic of conversion because for the proclaimer, also those who receive the message, really, conversion is a reality for all of us.

But before we begin, I would just like to invoke the Holy Spirit to open our hearts, our minds, and say, pray, come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit and we shall be created and you shall renew the face of the earth. 

In our last episode, we reflected on the power of personal encounter. And I know I think at the end of that episode, I mentioned that today would be about accompaniment. But actually, I'm going to sort of step back and talk about conversion. We saw in that last episode some examples of when Jesus meets people and their brokenness, particularly the woman at the well, the Samaritan woman at the well, the man born blind. These are encounters, Zaccheas, these are encounters of people who met Christ, and their encounter leads them to healing and hope, to new life. 

Today's episode explores what may be the most challenging yet liberating part of the gospel message, which is conversion. Or in the language of scripture, metanoia. A complete change of heart, a turning around, a reordering of life. When someone truly meets Christ, something has to change. Because love changes us. Truth changes us. Grace transforms us.

But in all honesty, as you know, if we're honest with ourselves, change is frightening. For some, very frightening. But the gospel calls us, of course, to more. And that can feel at first like a loss to leave sin behind, patterns of selfishness, comfort, or false securities. None of this is easy. And yet, it truly is the beginning of freedom. 

Let's begin with the words of Jesus himself. We find these in Mark, right at the beginning of the gospel, chapter one, verse 15, where the message of Jesus is simple, but yet again, profound. "Repent and believe in the gospel." Repent and believe in the gospel. 

So the first word Jesus preaches is metanoite, which is, again, repent, a word that means more than simply sorrow or regret. It means to change your mind, change your heart, change your direction. I'd like to explore what this looks like again because I think it's very important. If we are going to be proclaimers of the gospel, and if we hope to be faithful witnesses to the gospel, and we hope that those who receive the message also are touched by it, I think conversion is involved in this entire process. And I'd like to talk, what is conversion? 

Well, the Catholic Church, the catechism of the Catholic Church tells us in paragraph 1432, quoting the book of Lamentations, chapter 5, verse 21, "Conversion is first of all, a work of the grace of God who makes our hearts return to him." And the quote from Lamentations, "restore us to thyself, O Lord, that we may be restored." 

Conversion, then, is not primarily our effort; it is our response to God's initiative. He calls, He awakens our conscience, He reveals His love, and then we respond. The 
The Greek word metanoia is rich in meaning. Meta-, which means beyond or after, -enoia, meaning mind or understanding. So, "metanoia" put together is a change of mind, a shift in how we perceive reality, no longer centered on ourselves but on God. It's not a one-time event. It's the beginning of a new life, a life that must be nourished and recommitted to daily.

Let's think for a moment of Saint Paul on the road to Damascus. He's knocked to the ground. He hears the voice of Jesus. "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" And from that moment, his entire life turns. His mission, his identity, his desires, all is transformed. But the transformation continues throughout his life. 

Paul would later write in Philippians chapter 3 verses 13 to 14, "I do not claim to have hold of it, but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal."

Conversion is both an event and a process. So what does this new life look like? It's not just about avoiding sin; conversion draws us into the life of virtue. That is, a life ordered toward the good, rooted in grace and practiced through habit. The church names seven key virtues: the theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity, and the cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. A person undergoing conversion begins to live these more fully. Faith, trusting in God's promises even when the path is unclear. Hope, believing in God's mercy and His ultimate plan for our salvation. Charity, loving as Christ loves, even at great cost. Prudence, making decisions rooted in truth and guided by reason. Justice, giving others their due, especially the poor and vulnerable. Fortitude, the courage to persevere in doing good. Temperance, ordering desires and passions rightly.

These virtues do not come all at once. They must be cultivated. And that's part of a lifelong process, the lifelong process of conversion. Conversion is not easy, though, and many of us resist it, sometimes subtly, sometimes very fiercely. Why? Why would we resist change for the good, towards the good? Well, there are four recognizable obstacles to conversion.

One, fear of loss. People fear that what they will have to give up, a relationship, a lifestyle, an ambition, is maybe too much. The rich young man in the gospel walks away sad after being challenged by Jesus to go sell all that he had and give to the poor. Not because Jesus rejected him, but because he couldn't let go of his wealth. 

Two, another recognizable obstacle to conversion, attachment to sin. Sin can be very comforting, familiar. We rationalize sin, we excuse it, but grace always calls us to something higher, something better, something good. In St. Augustine, who's famous for his own conversion, he famously prayed, "Lord, make me chaste. Make me chaste, but not yet." I think sometimes that is the sentiment of many people. "Lord, I know what I need to do, but not yet." 

The third recognizable obstacle to conversion is pride. Conversion requires humility, admitting we are wrong, that we need help, that we cannot save ourselves. Pride resists this, preferring self-sufficiency. 

And the fourth recognizable obstacle to conversion, among others, I'm sure, despair. Some people believe they are beyond redemption, that their sins are too great, the past too messy. But of course, all this is a lie. The mercy of God knows no limits. Think of the good thief on the cross. One moment of faith and Jesus says, "Today you'll be with me in paradise," in Luke chapter 23. It's a famous scene, and I've heard it said and I've often said it myself: he stole heaven, the thief. That last moment with Jesus on the cross, but it was sincere repentance and letting go of despair and trusting in the Lord's mercy at that moment that allowed him to "steal heaven." 

And even after an initial conversion, these obstacles, these four obstacles that I mentioned, fear of loss, attachment to sin, pride, and despair, they can return. That's why the church speaks of ongoing or continual conversion. Saint Francis of Assisi said late in his life, "Let us begin again, for up to now we have done little."

Even the saints saw the need for continual renewal. The journey is not linear; there are stumbles, there are dry seasons, there are setbacks, but grace is never exhausted. This is true not only for the one being evangelized but also for the evangelizer. If we are to preach the gospel, we must also live it. If we speak of repentance, we must model it. Again, St. Paul VI said the best teachers are the best witnesses. One who can witness well to what he or she is trying to teach or proclaim. They're the best proclaimers because they're living what they're preaching, or they're living what they're proclaiming. 

So, ongoing conversion means some practical things: returning to confession with some regularity, praying daily, even when that might be hard or challenging because of other demands in life, examining our consciences honestly, letting go of judgment or bitterness, grudges, and seeking deeper humility. These are just some aspects of ongoing conversion, hopefully some practical things that might help us continue on our own paths of conversion. But it means realizing that we are always in need of the Savior, not just once, but every day. 

Pope Francis writes in Evangelii Gaudium, The joy of the gospel. "The church must be a place of mercy, freely given, where everyone can feel welcomed, loved, forgiven, and encouraged to live the good life of the gospel." That's paragraph 114. 

But we can only build such a church if we ourselves are being converted daily. Just have some scenarios, some stories, practical stories about conversion. I'd like to try to bring it to life a little bit because I've been talking a lot, not just necessarily theoretical or theological, but, for example, conversion scenarios. 

A young adult living for his or her career alone. After achieving everything he thought would bring happiness, a six-figure job, the apartment, the travel, this young adult felt very empty. He stumbled into a parish mission one Lent, as they're very common in our parishes, and the priest that night was speaking about surrender, about finding peace in God's will. Well, he was moved, this young adult sitting there in that pew, and then he was moved to go to confession for the first time in 10 years. You can imagine, his heart was opened, the time was right, he wept, he changed, he began again. 

Another scenario of conversion, a mother who couldn't forgive herself. Well, she had made choices in her past and she had had an abortion in college and she carried as a result of that decision to abort her unborn child she carried deep shame and guilt. But during a healing retreat, which she was encouraged to attend by a friend of hers. She encountered Christ's mercy and, in particular, she encountered Christ's mercy in the words of the priest who told her, "God does not just tolerate you, he delights in you. God does not just tolerate you; he delights in you." Well, those words just penetrated the shame and the guilt that were really walls in her heart, and she finally let God's forgiveness in. This experience, you can imagine, changed her life. She began to volunteer. She began to also accompany others, particularly other women who were suffering from the post of board of guilt and shame. And she became really an instrument herself of healing. 

Third scenario, a priest in crisis. Sometimes we think that priests don't struggle. Well, everyone struggles during life. And this scenario is even though serving and seemingly happy, this priest found himself very dry in his prayer. He felt himself as if going through the motions of life and his ministry. And it was very disturbing to him because He took his vocation very seriously. But one evening before the Blessed Sacrament, as he was faithful to his holy hour of adoration, he broke. He told the Lord, "I'm tired of faking it." And in the silence, he felt the Lord say to him very powerfully, very clearly, "Let me carry you." Well, from that day forward, this dear parish priest, he recommitted himself. And he did so with great zeal and vigor. Remembering those words of Jesus, "Let me carry you." Not only did he recommit himself to his priestly ministry and vocation, but his overall vocation of holiness and being a disciple. 

So these are just again examples, and I'm sure there are variations that you have heard of or many other stories of conversion that you are privy to or have been privileged to share in with others. But obviously, conversion comes in all forms, whether it's the young adult, whether it's the mother suffering from the post-abortive guilt and shame, whether it's the priest or the minister in the church who is just maybe struggling because of burnout or other factors, conversion comes in all forms. But it always involves letting go of control and letting God lead.

It's such an important thing to emphasize. Surrendering to our Heavenly Father, who loves us unconditionally, is really the key to conversion. 

Well, in conclusion, Jesus still says today, as he said to those first apostles, especially I think of the scene in Matthew, Jesus calling after Simon and Andrew, the fishermen, "come after me, come after me." And they did, they dropped their nets. And they followed him. He still says to us today, "Come follow me."

The call to conversion is not to be burdensome. It's an invitation to true freedom, to joy, to the fullness of life. And yes, it can be painful. Letting go is always painful to some degree. But what we receive is infinitely more than what we leave behind. So wherever you are in your walk with God, whether at the beginning, in the middle, or feeling like you've taken steps back, I just would encourage you to remember this, the book of Revelation, chapter 21, verse 5, those famous words, "Behold, I make all things new." "Behold, I make all things new." 

I'd like to conclude with a prayer attributed to St. Clement of Rome. "Lord, let your mercy come upon us. Deliver us from the darkness of ignorance. Let the light of your truth shine in our hearts. Teach us to do your will and guide our steps in the path of righteousness."

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Auspice Maria. Now, in the next episode, I'll touch upon accompaniment as I said I would touch upon in this episode, but that will be the next episode. How to walk with others on the path of faith, patiently and faithfully, as Christ walks with us. Until then, may you experience the grace of ongoing conversion and the joy of a life well-lived in Christ. 

I would like to end formally by invoking the intercession of our Blessed Mother, to whom we place all that we do, our church, our lives, under her motherly care as we pray. 

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.